Darkness is soothing. I never understood it’s charm, never understood why people prefered it to brightness. I could never feel its attraction before, but suddenly, as if for the first time my eyes were clearly seeing, I discovered it. It was not the absence of light which was soothing but the complete and total presence of oneself; of being in one’s company. The completeness of solitude. I realized I was never really alone before, even when there was no one around. There was always something around me, a sound, a color, a vision, a distraction. Darkness, the complete wholesome solid tangible darkness, took away the distractions and gifted me with my solitude. The senses came together for the first time, they worked as one. I could hear the ant like neurons twitching impatiently in my brain, forever busy. I could see the slight glint of phosphorescence of my own skin, it wanted to be seen. I heard myself breathe and told my heart, “Yes, I am aware of you too.” Then the limbs, tendons, organs, tissues, muscles, everything asked for attention, as if saying that they have been in service before I became a person and yet haven’t been acknowledged in any way, the invisible minions of our body. I became aware of this all and myself.
Have you visited yourself recently?